Have you ever looked at the meaning of the word compromise?
Compromising is the conscious form of repressing a wish or idea and to accept it as unrecognizable and unfulfilled.
Compromising emotionally is one of my most significant weaknesses. For example, I have been happily single for a while. The mere idea of compromising my living space, sharing my bathroom and closet, compromising my wants, desires, and aspirations, to concede them to someone else makes me physically sick. The thought makes my heart pound, and I start sweating. I get a full-blown panic attack with the idea of compromising emotionally. It might sound a bit melodramatic, but compromising is a big deal for a person who has been independent and self-minded since childhood. I feel it leaves me vulnerable to someone else’s will. But that is not always the case.
Self-compromising is an internal agreement you make with yourself and others. It helps you to adapt while conceding to other’s demands. It is a self-understanding between your inner defense mechanisms, wants, desires, and capacity to create appropriate responses to the world’s demands and any unwanted shifting situation. Self-compromising gives you the ability to modify and adjust your needs to deal with the requirements of others. Keep in mind that you are most likely to make hundreds of self-compromising decisions every day without being aware of most of them.
So, how do you do it? By cognitively adapting your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to respond to unfamiliar dynamic circumstances. It is a process of the mind that occurs subconsciously channeled by your sentiments and will.
Adaptability is an element of emotional intelligence that gives you the flexibility to compromise throughout the process of reacting, resisting, understanding, and accepting your environment. It is during the acceptance process where self-compromising occurs.
Iberkis Faltas, Ph.D.