Confusing much, isn’t it?


You feel a sudden overwhelming feeling that you cannot comprehend. You are feeling light-headed, and your heart is beating out of control. Your vision is clouded. A humming sound is blocking your eardrums, and all you can hear is your own heartbeat full or anger. Cold sweat is dripping under your clothes, regardless of the cold temperature. These are unregulated physiological responses to your environment. Those are emotional responses frequently interconnected to a range of sensations and feelings ranging from a marriage proposal to losing your job, getting a new job, having a baby, moving to another country, facing the uncertainties of changes, being laid off, the first day of school, buying your first car, your first kiss, and so on.

The reality–either if you like it or not–is that every single one of your behavioral responses is linked to some type of emotion. Even when you are not showing any emotions, that is an emotional response. Tricky, isn’t it?
Sometimes, you have time to think about your responses to others, but at other times, you will not have a second to spare before you come out “unfiltered.” And if you think that is a struggle, imagine when you have to deal with composing yourself, at the same time that you are trying to understand and comprehend the composure of others. If that is not enough to make you feel as if wanting to throw a five-year-old master tantrum, I know for fact that, at least, it will leave you frustrated much, isn’t it?

The trick is on recognizing and be aware of those emotional signals. Learning how to use that information to guide your next step, regardless if you are walking away from it or getting deeper into the problem. Emotional intelligence is a mental discipline that not only changes you emotionally and psychologically but also physically. Emotions leave you exhausted and wholly consumed. Emotional responses driven by instincts are never good because they will also leave you with a master mess behind to clean and a headache that will last you for days, if not months, and maybe years.

Get to know yourself. Get to know your emotions, the things that trigger different responses in you. It is important to understand who you are, where those emotions come from, and where they are taking you. Understand all surfaces and injunctions, see beneath the surface, evaluate what it takes from you to be involved, and ask yourself one question: is it worth it?

Dr. Iberkis Faltas

Tired of Social Double-Standards?

This one is dedicated to all women. How many times have you ever heard, “you can’t do it because you’re a woman?”

That is one phrase that has been embedded in a woman’s brain since childhood. That phrase has been burning on the back of women’s brains since the beginning of humankind, influencing their psychological and physical characteristics, qualities, skills, roles, and so forth. That is a barrier that has been there pinning women’s development, contributing to women’s sense of identity over time, becoming a conscious representation of self-concept, and a part of one’s nonconscious schematization of the self. That is a phrase that has always inhibited women’s expression and representation in our society and is still influencing everyone’s judgment and behavioral patterns.

The truth is that women are not the weakest gender. They have never been, and they will never be. 

Suppose you are still struggling with gender equality. In that case, you should understand that double standard is the hypocritical belief that a code of behavior is permissible for one group or individual but not for another. For example, a double standard is held by the man who believes that free sexual expression is acceptable only for males, thus insisting on his daughter’s virginity while encouraging or ignoring his son’s philandering

Let’s focus on one skill at a time. Self-awareness helps us to focus on unbiased information, attention to detail, and knowledge. That understanding includes recognizing and comprehending that women and men balance the world equally, without partitions, detachments, and separations.

What a person can and cannot do is not based on gender, but the power of the will, determination, ascertainment, and the ability to comprehend and differentiate between subtleties, while being aware of one’s cause and the impact that one’s decision, thoughts, and actions have in oneself-and others.

Women: self-assurance is essential. Trust your mental and physical abilities, capacities, endurance, and judgments. Your self-view is your number one positive attitude. The bolstering of self-confidence is needed to mediate your wants, needs, and goals. Believe in yourself. Your belief in yourself is your bridge to success. It would be best if you have the complete realization of your maximum capabilities, abilities, involvement, and appreciation for life. Analyze yourself time to time and discharge everything and everyone who is not adding values to your life and goals.

Think about this, Psychologist Abraham Maslow viewed the process of striving toward full potential as fundamental yet obtainable only after the basic needs of physical survival, safety, love, belongingness, and self-esteem are fulfilled.

Gender equality can be attained, but only if you believe on yourself.

Dr. Iberkis Faltas

Twitter: @imfaltas